This article appeared in The Punch last week.
Now I wonder if any of David Penberthy's old school buddies who used to sink bucket bongs with him at recess have read this? And if so, I wonder how they managed to find enough tissues to mop up the tears of laughter that erupted before a single word was read. "But why?", I hear you ask meekly. The website looks okay and his mugshot is fairly ordinary (although you might need to tussle the hair and shake loose the tie to properly reminisce); what could it possibly be? Aww shucks, it's no big deal really, but THE PHOTO CAPTIONED "MONSTER HEADS" DISPLAYS YOUNG, LEAFY PLANTS THAT COULD GET A PERSON SHOT IN TOWNS WHERE SUCH LAMENESS IS LEGISLATED AGAINST! THERE IS NOT A 'HEAD' IN SIGHT, LET ALONE THOSE OF THE 'MONSTER' VARIETY! No biggie; just sayin'...
My current favourite TV show recently explained that the reason we can be so mean to others is because we are deeply insecure ourselves and it makes us feel better about ourselves when we dish out onto those around us. With all due respect Dan Harmon, sometimes it's just about returning power-wielding morons back to their seat where they will hopefully draw penis sketches whilst convincing their friends that they are hilarious and not in fact bi-curious or repressed.
Enough said really. Anyone with any clue about cannabis should stop at that photo caption and walk away into the night without further ado. The problem is, however, that many readers will raise up their Ray Bans or put down their 'Crownie' and marvel at 'Basketcase Adelaide' ("Look everyone. Those stupid crow-eaters thought they could make that shithole of a state seem interesting by legalising weed and now they're all stuck at home wiping the drool from their kids' mouths! LMAO!")
I could tackle Penberthy point-for-point, but instead I just want to raise a few matters of concern:
a) Can we all just ignore that idiot who has mistaken pot smoking for an Olympic event and too often uses the phrases "let's REALLY get stoned" or "you call that a joint?!"? Just like Bill Hicks' gripe about the guy who always wants to 'enhance' the trip, this joker (you all know her/him) just can't seem to GET that drug-taking is a completely individualised pursuit and you can bet your shitty, over-committed mortgage that he/she will be the first one to transform into 'anti-drug crusader', maybe even becoming the exaggerated example that parents everywhere refer to when justifying their ignorance. Dude, you completely overdid it with a product that is not even regulated and whilst it's understandable as a teenager to wake up immersed in the bucket next to your bed, there's a time limit on that. If you just checked your Id at the door every once in a while and realised your own insignificance, then some of us might be able to smoke in peace, instead of having to bear witness to your EXTREME drug taking. Go ahead, smoke everyone under the table, AND DON'T EVER BOTHER US AGAIN!
b) Can we all just ignore that idiot who insists that one needs to hold in the smoke for as long as possible to 'get high'? Not only is this not true, but smoking should be a pleasant, easy-going experience - IT'S NOT A SPORT! With the amount of tobacco being mixed with pot these days, I wouldn't be surpised if users are exacerbating their anxiety, or at the very least boosting their heart rates, by sucking way too hard.
c) Speaking of tobacco, can we not forget that 9 out of 10 smokers mix their pot and it may not be just tolerance that is leading to the endless cones on the daily? You may just be craving the nicotine hit and, again, way overdoing it. Totes.
d) "Do nothing culture"? What are you talking about David? For many smokers, there is nothing worse than being bored when stoned. What about all those users who can't stop doing stuff after they smoke. Here are some examples of smokers who do amazing things:
Band of Horses
Kenny Hoyle
e) "...the explosion in the size and reach of bikie gangs in the City of Churches was fuelled by those laws" - huh? So how come in Victoria and New Zealand, for example, bikie gangs have become super-powerful from Prohibitionist laws? You might want to check your facts David, because you might find that during that era Adelaide weed was renowned for being cheaper and of much better quality. Certainly anecdotal reports from Melbourne buyers indicated as much. Also, I wonder how powerful the gangs would have gotten if there was a legitimate retailer in the mix - remember David, decriminalisation is not the same as regulation.
I hear you say, well how do people receive accurate information or how do we avoid the misinformation spreading? Well, if I can make a suggestion, if drugs weren't solely in the hands of 'black marketeers' and drug education stopped being a work of extraordinary fantasy-fiction, then we might stand a chance. Because really, I don't care about your new Bob Marley flag, your big dog, your oversized car or that new video game console you recently scored by trading a quarter-ounce - people would much rather buy their drugs cheaply, with guaranteed quality and accurate information, from a person who's not just interested in tax-free dollars.
Now I wonder if any of David Penberthy's old school buddies who used to sink bucket bongs with him at recess have read this? And if so, I wonder how they managed to find enough tissues to mop up the tears of laughter that erupted before a single word was read. "But why?", I hear you ask meekly. The website looks okay and his mugshot is fairly ordinary (although you might need to tussle the hair and shake loose the tie to properly reminisce); what could it possibly be? Aww shucks, it's no big deal really, but THE PHOTO CAPTIONED "MONSTER HEADS" DISPLAYS YOUNG, LEAFY PLANTS THAT COULD GET A PERSON SHOT IN TOWNS WHERE SUCH LAMENESS IS LEGISLATED AGAINST! THERE IS NOT A 'HEAD' IN SIGHT, LET ALONE THOSE OF THE 'MONSTER' VARIETY! No biggie; just sayin'...
My current favourite TV show recently explained that the reason we can be so mean to others is because we are deeply insecure ourselves and it makes us feel better about ourselves when we dish out onto those around us. With all due respect Dan Harmon, sometimes it's just about returning power-wielding morons back to their seat where they will hopefully draw penis sketches whilst convincing their friends that they are hilarious and not in fact bi-curious or repressed.
Enough said really. Anyone with any clue about cannabis should stop at that photo caption and walk away into the night without further ado. The problem is, however, that many readers will raise up their Ray Bans or put down their 'Crownie' and marvel at 'Basketcase Adelaide' ("Look everyone. Those stupid crow-eaters thought they could make that shithole of a state seem interesting by legalising weed and now they're all stuck at home wiping the drool from their kids' mouths! LMAO!")
I could tackle Penberthy point-for-point, but instead I just want to raise a few matters of concern:
a) Can we all just ignore that idiot who has mistaken pot smoking for an Olympic event and too often uses the phrases "let's REALLY get stoned" or "you call that a joint?!"? Just like Bill Hicks' gripe about the guy who always wants to 'enhance' the trip, this joker (you all know her/him) just can't seem to GET that drug-taking is a completely individualised pursuit and you can bet your shitty, over-committed mortgage that he/she will be the first one to transform into 'anti-drug crusader', maybe even becoming the exaggerated example that parents everywhere refer to when justifying their ignorance. Dude, you completely overdid it with a product that is not even regulated and whilst it's understandable as a teenager to wake up immersed in the bucket next to your bed, there's a time limit on that. If you just checked your Id at the door every once in a while and realised your own insignificance, then some of us might be able to smoke in peace, instead of having to bear witness to your EXTREME drug taking. Go ahead, smoke everyone under the table, AND DON'T EVER BOTHER US AGAIN!
b) Can we all just ignore that idiot who insists that one needs to hold in the smoke for as long as possible to 'get high'? Not only is this not true, but smoking should be a pleasant, easy-going experience - IT'S NOT A SPORT! With the amount of tobacco being mixed with pot these days, I wouldn't be surpised if users are exacerbating their anxiety, or at the very least boosting their heart rates, by sucking way too hard.
c) Speaking of tobacco, can we not forget that 9 out of 10 smokers mix their pot and it may not be just tolerance that is leading to the endless cones on the daily? You may just be craving the nicotine hit and, again, way overdoing it. Totes.
d) "Do nothing culture"? What are you talking about David? For many smokers, there is nothing worse than being bored when stoned. What about all those users who can't stop doing stuff after they smoke. Here are some examples of smokers who do amazing things:
Band of Horses
Kenny Hoyle
e) "...the explosion in the size and reach of bikie gangs in the City of Churches was fuelled by those laws" - huh? So how come in Victoria and New Zealand, for example, bikie gangs have become super-powerful from Prohibitionist laws? You might want to check your facts David, because you might find that during that era Adelaide weed was renowned for being cheaper and of much better quality. Certainly anecdotal reports from Melbourne buyers indicated as much. Also, I wonder how powerful the gangs would have gotten if there was a legitimate retailer in the mix - remember David, decriminalisation is not the same as regulation.
I hear you say, well how do people receive accurate information or how do we avoid the misinformation spreading? Well, if I can make a suggestion, if drugs weren't solely in the hands of 'black marketeers' and drug education stopped being a work of extraordinary fantasy-fiction, then we might stand a chance. Because really, I don't care about your new Bob Marley flag, your big dog, your oversized car or that new video game console you recently scored by trading a quarter-ounce - people would much rather buy their drugs cheaply, with guaranteed quality and accurate information, from a person who's not just interested in tax-free dollars.
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